Moan-a-gram-o-blog (fictitious TfL ticket sales outlet)

A Git of Sadness writes:

I can't possibly let you see the moan-a-gram I sent in to London Buses a week or more ago as it is so sad and anal-retentive that even friends and relatives who know, or thought they knew, me and my foibles would cross the road to avoid being seen associating with me and being unilluminated by the gloomy non-glow of my Sad Gitness.

Suffice it to say that the local map at our nearest bus stop shows an entirely fictitious "Ticket Stop" (their cutesy, nay pukey, name for "place with bus tickets to sell") in the same block as our house. There ain't one, not nohow, nor not never not not. No, Colin, this isn't a "slight slip" or "old data" - it is pure b*ll*cks. Go and look for yourself, o local readership.

So ... I wrote them a courteous, helpful (and yes, probably OCD-ish) letter about this a year or two back. They didn't reply. Some time after this they brought out a new map. With the same error. Gakkkk!!!!

(I do, by the way, recognize that there are one or two more important issues in the world than this. But not at 6.18am when their bl**dy silly map is staring me in the face and getting up my nose - quite a feat if you think about it.)

So ... I have wroted to them again. And because people like me sometimes do not know when to stop, I also asked them why, further north on the same map, they have two symbols lovingly mapped onto one spot, when the legend makes it clear that the one symbol is inclusive of the other. (Note to Those In The Know - Oyster vs non-Oyster outlets - OK? <winks laddishly but unsuccessfully>)

And because people like me sometimes do not know when to stop, I also asked them whether the whole map needs checking, and whether they have procedures to ensure accuracy, or do they just hand it over to the Year 10 Work Experience kid to do? That's the trouble with people like me, we sometimes do not know when to stop. Sometimes we do not know when to stop. Indeed not. We do not, sometimes, know when to stop.

Oh alright, I didn't really put the Year 10 bit in, that would have been a mite too rude. But I am afraid that the rest of it is pretty much as it went.

I have already had the anodyne reply saying it's been passed to the appropriate department and they guarantee a reply within three years, unless they have to pass it on for specialist attention in which case they guarantee a reply before the end of the next Ice Age. Do you think:

• I am going to get a proper reply while I am still alive?
• They are going to admit I'm right?
• They are going to fix the map before the next printing?

Hmm. No, me neither. I guess I am just going to have to chain myself to their railings next. Ah well. Sometimes being a Sad Git is a bit of a sad and indeed gittish occupation. It's a tough job Tamsin but someone's got to do it ...

* * U P D A T E * *

2nd August: This just in:

"Thank you for your email regarding map accuracy at your local bus stop. I am sorry for the delay in answering your query.

"I have contacted the personnel responsible for this map, and they have in turn responded to me. They have mentioned this specific issue to their supplier (T-Kartor), and they're currently checking the data. If, as sounds very likely, the data is wrong they'll get an amended vicinity map produced and printed as soon as possible."

So: I hereby take back, withdraw, rescind and disown Certain Doubts expressed earlier in this piece. Couldn't really hope for a better reply. Nice one, London Buses.