Friday, 14 March 2008


Dear Customer,

Halifax Internet Banking, is here by announcing the New Security Upgrade. We've upgraded our new SSL servers to serve our customers for a better and secure banking service,against any fraudulent activities. Due to this recent upgrade, you are requested to update your account information by following the reference below.


Halifax Online Banking

I suppose one should be grateful for this standard of writing really. Despite the best efforts of some of our major companies (Hi Mr Branson!) actual communications from real companies tend to be at least slightly more literate than this.

At the same time I can't help but feel slightly sorry for the tragic fraudsters and their stumbling use of English. I wonder if there's an opening in the market for an "Improve Your Criminal Scheme's Language Skills" correspondence course, or similar. You know, those ads that say "are you ashamed of like your grammer and stuff?" Of course you'd have to be a wee bit careful about what forms of payment you'd accept, but I am sure a way round could be found. The sky's the limit for the keen language entrepreneur!

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