Wednesday, 23 May 2007

Oh just read the bl**dy instructions would you?

The standard state for any packet of anything in my household is "Ripped Open". This causes me deep anguish.

This is what happens. The manufacturer dreams up some nice system, with a little perforated bit, a resealable flap, a bit of double sided tape. Maybe something clever that folds over? An origami joy, no less. Then they write a little essay about it. "For enhanced freshness just deperforate the Flip-n-Scoop Module™ then fold over the Fold-y-Top and secure with the Gummy-Yummy semi-glued Flap (slogan - It's Semi-Glued, Mommy!)" Millions of person-hours have gone into this master- or mistress-piece of industrial design.

Then along comes a member of my family, knuckles dragging lightly on the kitchen floor. They go:

WANT BISCUIT NOW
BISCUIT THING SHUT
HUNGRY
(gnah! wagghh! ungghh!!)

After that, the Beloved Object is certainly open, but it ain't closing again, not the way the manufacturer intended, no way no how. Gosh. Someone appears to have bitten the top right off (My G*d, are those raptor tracks Professor??)

Ho hum. It's very difficult having OCD in a house which mistreats Temporary Storage Technology so badly. Sigh.

4 comments:

Strawberryyog said...

Yeah so I recycled the grunting. I like it, it's good grunting. Sue me.

Strawberryyog said...

No, I am not claiming seriously to have OCD. It's just a bad, lazy person's shorthand for my horrible, anal-retentive, prissy (you can go off and make a cuppa, I might be some time) stroppy, clucky, fussy, fiddly and above all instruction-reading state. If you are reading this and you really have proper OCD, and are offended by what I've said, I really am very very sorry indeed to have throughtlessly belittled the extreme seriousness of your condition. OK?

Becca said...

I just re-read this and it made Phoebe and me laugh lots and lots. Brilliant.

Strawberryyog said...

Ah good - we aim to entertain as well as educate ... :)