The Sage Gateshead is not in Newcastle

Look. The Sage Gateshead is not in Newcastle. It just isn’t. If it were, it would need to be a bit further North and then they could have called it The Sage Newcastle, and its website could be at thesagenewcastle.org. But it isn’t, and they didn’t, and it isn’t … because it is not in Newcastle.

I know people like to weeble on about the mighty river-spanning conurbation of, ahem, NewcastleGateshead as if it were Buda and Pest or Ankh and Morpork but I feel this is mostly a marketing term – I have yet to see an example of its use by a normal human being. And even so I might be smacking my head on my desk a little less if I were complaining about someone saying, or at least implying, that the Sage is in (akk!) NewcastleGateshead: but I am not.

Let’s get this right:

• The Sage Gateshead is not in Newcastle
• The Sage Gateshead is in Gateshead
• Gateshead is not Newcastle
• Newcastle is not Gateshead
• Bessie Surtees House, for a further example, is not in Gateshead
• … and while I’m at it, the Baltic isn’t in Newcastle either. No Tamsin it is jolly well not.
• Newcastle and Gateshead are close together but two different places. Say it with me:
• “Newcastle and Gateshead are close together but two different places.” Good, good.
• Gah!!!

Thank you for your attention.