Vogel Blows His Top, or, The Pedestrian Traffic Lights on Colney Hatch Lane are (in my personal opinion) Very Dangerous and Will Kill Someone (in my personal opinion) One Day and I Did Try To Tell You. (In my personal opinion.)

Of course all below is merely my personal opinion and should not possibly be taken as a statement of fact. Dearie me no.

This is a fault report I've just filled in on the TfL web site.

If you are wondering if I have blown my top and gone a bit nuts, then yes, I have. I have a long history with this issue. The medication does not help, doctor.

If you are a Haringey or TfL roads person, and you are wondering if I have put this here with a sort-of malicious intent, that is, starting a historical record of my attempts to counter your (in my personal opinion) stupid (in my personal opinion) horrible (in my personal opinion) dangerous (in my personal opinion) negligence, so that if/when someone is killed or seriously injured there I have a public record of the fact that you were told ... hmmmmm well chaps what do you think? I'd be quite worried, myself. Seriously.

If you are a Haringey or TfL roads person, and you want to argue with me about this, the comments are below. Please join in. Seriously.

If you are a Haringey or TfL roads person, and you are actually going to fix it and make it safe, because you've actually understood the issue, then woo woo woo and please let me bake you a cake. Seriously.

Right, off we go.

 

Borough: Haringey

Fault type: Traffic light

Location: Colney Hatch La/Alexandra Park Rd N10. Pedestrian light for people crossing NORTHBOUND side of CHL a metre or two north of the road junction.

Description: This particular part of the system currently has NO green light phase for pedestrians. The pedestrian WAIT light is permanently on and the red man is permanently displayed. I have watched the lights right through a cycle to check this.

Please note:

1. I do NOT mean the light for pedestrians crossing the southbound side of CHL. It's fine. I mean only the one which I describe exactly above.
2. In many ways, your current mess is safer and more honest than when it was nominally working. Why? Because your previous setup, designed I assume by an (in my personal opinion) idiot and/or (in my personal opinion) would-be murderer, gave pedestrians a green and then gave the cars waiting in APR to turn right into CHL-Northbound their own green just a couple of seconds later. Since only about 5% of car drivers seem to have the brains to realize that the pedestrian lights are separate, the other 95% just drive straight through on the red light that is supposed to protect the CHL-crossing pedestrians. They either do not see the red or think it is not for them. Now, none of you has ever (in my personal opinion) had the understanding to get anywhere (in my personal opinion) near this problem, but it would be nice, in a perfect world, to think that someone with a bit (in my personal opinion) more sense could actually VISIT the junction, watch driver behaviour, see what I mean, and do something.

Summary:

a. It's currently broken
b. If you "fix" it by putting it back to how it was before, you will be (in my personal opinion) knowingly endangering lives. If you did this then someone was killed or injured there, I'd very much hope that your (in my personal opinion) negligence would become public knowledge.
c. If you fix it by actually listening to what I have said and acting on it, you will be (in my personal opinion) taking an opportunity to enhance pedestrian safety and should probably (in my personal opinion) get the OBE. And a nice (in my personal opinion) chocolate (in my personal opinion) cake.

Cheers

Vogel (in my personal opinion)

And the response so far:

Street fault reported

Thank you. Your fault has been successfully recorded.

I'm sorry, I know this is a terrible terrible rant. But I have, honestly, had it with this issue. I have tried and tried, given up, retried - and, essentially, got pretty much nowhere. So my instinct to report the broken light came crunching up against my pre-existing, er, condition and the above rant is the result. Will it do any good? Quite possibly not: I am up against (in my personal opinion) intransigent people who know that they know better than me and have rarely shown signs of paying attention to what I've said. But maybe it will make me feel a touch better that I have at least tried.

In the meantime, if you cross the road there, please treat that traffic light, whatever it is telling you, with the very deepest suspicion: make sure you are safe by applying your own judgement and careful observation. I am not kidding.

If any of this has any impact, I will let you know. I do not advise holding your breath but, if it does have a beneficial effect - just imagine!