The Black Bull, Balsham

http://www.blackbull-balsham.co.uk/ fantastic walker-friendly pub with stunningly good food. Go there now!

Location:27 High St, Balsham, Cambridge, CB21 4DJ

Why is it SO difficult to find your seat on a train?

Pretty much every time I travel on a train which has booked seats - or indeed an aircraft ditto ditto, come to think of it - there are incredible scenes of confusion as people fail to find the seat they're meant to be in. Apparently it's really very difficult to: examine your ticket; see that you are in coach C, seat 23; walk to and board coach C; sit in seat 23.

Why is this? The actions outlined seem to represent a terrible challenge to people who seem otherwise capable, have made it to the station, and look like they know how to play tunes on their iPod. It's bizarre, and I should probably stop writing now before I collapse into horrible intolerance.

Just before I do, though, here's a little hintette-series for travellers on Virgin Pendolinos between London and Manchester (and perhaps many other destinations besides, but what do I know?):

1. You're standing there being clueless and helpless;
2. Even though you've found the right pair of seats, you still don't know which is yours.
3. You're looking at the little LCD screen above the window and it doesn't seem very helpful.
4. Here's my suggestion. Forget the LCD screen for now.
5. Instead, look at the labels on the "ears" which stick out into the aisle for people to hang onto.
6. Look Tamsin! Look Colin! The "ears" have the seat numbers on!
7. See the lovely seat numbers!!
8. Now here's the clever bit: the seat numbers are like a map of the seats.
9. The number nearest you represents the seat nearest you.
10. The number further away represents the seat further away from you.
11. I know it's tough but try to stay with me here.

12. Gosh, this is really a bit OCDish and bonkers isn't it? I must have been in a foul mood when I wrote it (makes a change). Hmmm. Revise, delete, ignore ... ?



--
Mobile, hence terse.

Location:Lostock Rd,Poynton,United Kingdom

Quickoffice does Google Documents. Bliss.

Quickoffice have just upgraded their iPhone app, for free, so it can talk to Google Docs.

If you don't know why I might think this is a Big Deal, please don't worry about it - boring techie stuff.

If you do get it, you may understand why I'm so thoroughly blissed out by this lovely improvement. Say yay. Say woo. Say oh look I say that's really rather good, actually.

Marvellous. Scribbling life just got better. Thank you, lovely Quickoffice people, for sorting this out.

--
Mobile, hence terse.

Location:Alexandra Park Rd,Haringey,United Kingdom

Small World-o-rama

Missed bus badly, long wait billed for next: instant grump.

Went in pub for consoling half. (The other night they had run out of proper beer, which was a bit sad.)

To my great surprise and delight was served the said half (which was indeed proper nice beer) by one Freddie dL, star saxophonist and all-round Good Egg. We've known him since he was very small, which frankly he no longer is. Good or what? Yeah, I thought so,

Location:Palace Gates Rd,Tottenham,United Kingdom

Pret a Manger porridge

So delicious! :)

Location:Islington,United Kingdom

I’ve never been closer …

Oh how lovely – BBC Radio 6 Music have got an amazing-sounding Heaven 17 and La Roux joint session coming up, a live gig at  Maida Vale on Friday night.

I’ve applied for tickets for this but so I imagine have 47 million other people, and it’s Tuesday now so I am not still holding my breath. I do think it might be interesting, though, and I will try to listen to it or record it or something.

Some readers will be aware that I have - how can I put this – another interest in this matter, a somewhat more, ahem, pecuniary one. Radio 6 are trailing this quite a lot and every time they do they play a couple of tiny Heaven 17 extracts, one of them, obviously, being Temptation. Well you would, wouldn’t you? It sounds like the single or standard album version (same thing, I think), and if it is, and the chunks are big enough to trigger payments, then I might be making a few bob here.

Of course I’m wildly out of touch with all this … it may not be the right version, and the short moments they play may be teeny enough to be exempt or something … but who knows? I’ll find out in a month or two and, for the meantime, it’s a nice thought.

And now I'm here ...

... outside Islington Town Hall. Ah the happy memories.

Oh hang on, there aren't any. Not of that particular place. Ho hum.


- MobileHenceTerse

Location:Upper St,Islington,United Kingdom

I'm blogging on the

... bus.

This is most exciting. I'm writing and sending this blogulistic entity from a big red London omnibus. Hold very tight please! (Ding ding!)


- MobileHenceTerse

Location:Holloway Rd,Islington,United Kingdom

He’s a funny old chap, that G*d. (The Odeon lays it on the line.)

As I write, it is still a bit cold and snowy and icy all over the UK.

The Odeon has an interesting take on what has been going on:

“Selected cinemas have been affected by adverse weather.”

Now, I have to confess that I find this statement theologically very interesting and actually rather exciting. I do wish that a Bishop would read this blog, then maybe she could give us an authoritative comment … though non-Bishops are of course also very, very welcome.

Pics of previous years’ mobhanded icing attempts

As requested by a Regular Reader (and Kronprinzeßin).

2005

2007

 

2008

 

No, I don’t know what happened in the other years! :)

GJ’s Christmas Cake recipe

Ingredients

• 8 oz sultanas
• 8 oz raisins
• 4 oz currants
• 2 oz mixed peel
• 2 oz glace cherries, halved
• 6 oz dried apricots, chopped
• 2 oz dried apples, chopped
• 4 oz dried dates, chopped
• 4 oz dried peaches, chopped
• 4 oz dried pears, chopped

(Note after all the dried fruit: “If you cannot get all these it will probably be OK if you get different weights, as long as they more or less even up to the same total amount. If you can’t get the variety in the shops try the Julian Graves website.”)

• 8 oz butter
• 8 oz brown sugar
• Grated rind and juice of a lemon
• Grated rind and juice of an orange
• 4 fl oz orange juice
• 4 fl oz brandy
• ½ tsp grated nutmeg
• 1 tsp ground cinnamon
• 1 tsp allspice
• ½ tsp ground ginger
• ¼ tsp ground cardamom
• 1 tbsp black treacle
• 5 eggs, beaten
• 11 oz plain flour, white
• 1 tsp baking powder

Method

Put the fruit, butter, sugar, lemon and orange zest and juice, into a large pan with 4 fl oz water. Bring slowly to the boil, stir and simmer, covered, for 10 minutes.

Remove from the heat and allow to cool slightly. Add the brandy and spices and transfer to a large bowl. When cold, cover and put in a cool place (not the fridge) for three days, stirring daily.

Line a 10-inch round cake tin with double sheets of greaseproof paper.

Preheat the oven to 170°C/325°F/gas mark 3.

Stir the treacle into the boiled fruit and beat in the eggs.

Sift flour and baking powder and stir into the mixture. It will be slightly sloppy.

Turn it into the tin and bake for about 4½ hours.

Note – excessive hotness

In consultation with the great GJ herself and with the Junior GJ-Cakemaking Year 10 Work-Experience Trainee Apprentice Team of Drs AC and DY, the following has emerged: this cake has a slight tendency to burn on top. The following advice has been offered:

1. Keep an eye on temperature and time, and maybe consider reducing temperature
2. Keep an eye on the cake itself towards the end. (Yes Tamsin: Duh indeed.)
3. Consider giving it a lid of greaseproof paper fairly early in the cooking process. Not touching the cake mix itself but over the top of the tin. There’s no science on what effect this has … er, convection currents anyone?? Maybe it’s just magic. I know, I know … go figure.
4. It’s a huge cake, and is meant to be iced. Having, therefore, to saw the top off due to its frazzlation is not such a disaster and has certainly happened “more than once”, I am told.

nidbaabeth™ - a sanity-saving new concept

Oh thank goodness, a claimed neologism that doesn't turn out to mean 400 things in Danish or have been bagsied by 976 other bloggers six years before I thought I'd thought of it!

nidbaabeth™: No, I don't blog about absolutely bl**dy everything that happens!

You read it here first, ladies and gentlemen.

I shall return to this. (Please see also the FIQ. Thank you.)

I had also considered:

ntidbaabeth™: No, Tamsin, I don't blog about absolutely bl**dy everything that happens!

... but, let's be honest, it is a poor thing beside the glory that is nidbaabeth™.

Thank you for visiting. Vogel out.

I really ought to write something productive and interesting for this blog and not just poke fun at infelicitous language in news stories and other easy, lazy stuff.

Please see header line. Yes. Yes indeed.

Rabbi 'offered cocaine for sex'

Has there ever been a finer headline? I mean, what's missing? I suppose that something about Web 2.0 would have been nice, or maybe a mention of reality TV or sustainable energy - but even so that's pretty good going.

Oopsie-Beebs-a-blog™: Also submerged underwater too? (fixed)

(inarticulate howls of protest fading out into sobbing …)

Look, is it just me or is there something horribly wrong with this sentence?

A car was also submerged underwater too, he added

It comes from the Beeb’s news story Canal leak floods family's home. I mean, if that’s good writing, then is this one better?

Additionally, a car was also submerged underwater by immersion too, he added

- (three-all, yes!) and presumably this is even nicer – nicer, indeed, than bunny-wunnies:

Additionally, a car furthermore was also submerged underwater by immersion in the flood too, he added

- and so on. 4-4! Why stop there? I could go for 5-5 you know …

Go on, then, answer the question – is it just me? I mean, I think it’s terrible writing and it troubles me that no-one looked at it before announcing it to a squillion people, because I think the Beeb should be a champion of good writing and careful editing. But hey: YMMV.

Oopsie-Beebs-a-blog™ – Cymbals are grand; or not. (fixed)

NYYYYYAAAAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHHH. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. THNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!

I’m sorry but sometimes a really good session of News Rage™ is helped along with a little scream.

Right, so Boris opened a new version of How to Cross Oxford Circus today, which is good.

The BBC reported it, which is good, with a bit of video, which is also good. And they gave us a nice set of photos, which is good too. All good so far.

In the BBC report they said this:

London Mayor Boris Johnson unveiled the crossing by striking a cymbal.

… which is not good. It’s even right up at the top, where many people are still reading.

They perhaps got it from the Mayor’s press release, which said this:

… the road was officially opened by the Mayor who struck a two metre high cymbal …

No, no, no, no, no Auntie, that is NOT a cymbal. Really really not. Please do some research.

No, no, no, no, no Boris’s press people, that is NOT a cymbal. Really really not. Please do some research.

I have, as usual, because I am such a sad git, wroted to them. It was, I hope, a humorous and pleasant email message, which may with luck have made someone smile. (Or possibly want to hit me … hmmm occupational hazard I guess.) It even suggested (to the Beeb anyway) a number of starting points for finding out what it really is. (For example, do you think, Tamsin, that the word “Paiste” could perhaps be a manufacturer’s name? Yes, good girl, you may indeed use the telephonic device to contact them and politely enquire just what that large instrument might be. Well done, you shall have a shilling.)

I mean, really.

And yes, I know, I know. Usual disclaimers apply. Thames not set on fire, no lives endangered, income tax rate remains unchanged. The Beeb were just copying the press release (because that’s how you do reporting, right?) and Boris’s press people were told something, or guessed it, and were too busy to get it right. And it’s trivial, and London’s children will probably not fail GCSE Music just because that’s what they think a cymbal looks like. Fine … It’s just sloppy, is all, and makes me sad. And fat, but that’s another story. (Do you think I can sue?)

Update (some time later): I had a nice reply from Paiste, who said:

“This is [a] Paiste Symphonic Gong. We assume it's a 60".”

So there you go. Would it really have been so hard for someone (that is, someone other than me) to check, instead of just assuming that they “knew”? Sigh. But, like I say, no actual harm done … unless of course you think ignorance is bad (oops).

Gigless Remembrance Day?

Oh dear. It's 1st November the day after tomorrow and I currently have no gig to do the Last Post on Remembrance Sunday. Do you think I blotted my copybook so badly last year that I've had it? Oh dear, and oh dear again. At the time, I thought everyone was full of forgiveness ... hmm, watch this space. I wonder if I will, in the end, get offered it - or any other similar gig - this year.

If you've dropped in here looking for how to pronounce Reveille in British English then you should probably click this paragraph.

If you want more on the Last Post and Reveille then here are my other bits on the topic:

• 2007
• 2008 (rhymes with Very Nearly Late)

- and here's a well-meaning but horrible-looking site with more information about this area:

• www.lastpostbuglecall.co.uk

Here's a final thought. If I don't get offered the gig, and they are still using a bugler/trumpet player, shall I go along to the service? Would that be a bit, erm, yes? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Update: no gig, chiz, but I don't really mind as I know who did do it (the very nice Tom D; Haringey people will know) and I thoroughly approve. He probably ought to symbolically kill me and eat my brains or nail my bugle (ouch!) to the barn door or something, but I guess we can skip the formalities. Go, my boy, this world is yours now ...

Penelope White das Graças - nice concert tomorrow

Here is a piece I wrote about a St Anne's concert by this fine singer. Now there's news of another London gig - it's tomorrow so get your skates on!

FUNDRAISING CONCERT 24th October 7.30pm, London

Fundraising Concert “Life Cycle and other stories”

The Grosvenor Chapel, South Audley Street, London W1

25th October 2009 - 7.30pm

Come and watch the talented White-Pires Duo in the compelling fundraising concert “Life Cycle and other stories” where they will be joined by guest star, Bruno Santino, member of the internationally acclaimed opera band AMICI. The choice of repertoire for the concert is to coincide with the reason for the concert – children.

A Charm of Lullabies Benjamin Britten

Valsa da Dor (piano solo) Heitor Villa-lobos

Kindertotenlieder Gustav Mahler

A selection of popular opera arias and duets by Mozart, Rossini, Bizet, and Saint-Saëns

British born Penelope White das Graças (mezzo-soprano) achieved her PG Dip in Performance at Trinity College of Music and in 2006 won a place on the first Mentorship Scheme at the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden. She has given concerts and recitals in England, Switzerland, Italy, Brazil and the US, performing diverse repertoire in venues including St Martin in the Fields and St James’ Piccadilly, London. She is now living in Brazil, researching the rich Brazilian classical song repertoire and attending the prestigious Tela Lírica opera studio at the Teatro Guaíra, Curitiba. For more information please see www.penelopewhite.com

Brazilian Ivan Pires (pianist) graduated in Piano Performance from the School of Music and Fine Arts of Paraná, Brazil. He has recorded several interviews and recitals for Brazilian television and radio programs. Currently, he splits his professional life teaching pupils in London and Paris, also working as a recitalist and collaborative artist in BrazilEurope. For more information please see www.myspace.com/ivanpires and

Brazilian Bruno Santino (baritone) changed the course of his life from being a chemical engineer by winning several scholarships to study singing abroad, where completed his PG Dip in Vocal Training and MMus in Performance at the Guildhall School of Music and Drama. As a testament to his outstanding abilities, not only did he achieve distinction in his PGDip but his prizes include the Revelation Singer Award of 2001, UFMG’s Young Soloist 2002, Eleazar de Carvalho’s National Competition for Young Soloists 2002 and was Highly Commended in the Guildhall’s 2005 English Song competition. For more information please see www.brunosantino.com

The Charity

www.acridas.org.br

Foopball - a review

Thursday, 26 May 2005

There was a foopball match shown on the televisual receiver last night.

I watched it with my friend Adrian and my wife Deborah and my collie called Daisy and a great big glass of wine called Fitou. It was most exciting! At the end a lot of plump gentlemen who had been spectating from the upper parts of the auditorium took their shirts off and waved them around. My word. They did seem jolly. They were infected with enthusiasm by a gentleman called Mr Dudek who very kindly did some funny little dances to cheer up the foopball players from the opposing "team" or "side". Goodness, how we clapped and smiled at this little foreign chap's merry antics!

Yours sincerely

Mr Strawberry Yoghurt

Note: this was first posted on my then-LiveJournal in 2005.

Moonshot disappointment

In which we proudly present the first and best NASA LCROSS impact photography, complete with massive explosive dust plume and who knows what else. Guaranteed fully authentic and very, very scientific. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the image for which the world has been waiting.

I got very excited about the LCROSS mission and the fact that at 1130 today it was due to smash a great big rocket into the moon. This would create an excitingly massive debris cloud which, the Metro told me, would be visible for a couple of minutes from here, which is a pretty cool proposition, so as I was travelling at that time (long story) I got off the Tube at Kings Cross and went up to the street in the hope of seeing something. What I could see at exactly 1130 was a lot of cloud with maybe an inch or two of blue sky, so I wandered off again to finish the journey. When I got to work, though, it was even more exciting because it was still going on - I think maybe I'd seen 1130 GMT and forgotten we're on summer time, or they'd run out of petrol and had to go back, or something. Anyway, the point was that it was still happening and was live on the Beeb. As the time got closer I watched it and even sent email round the office pointing it out to others. (Sounds a bit didactic of me but, well, I am, plus doing stuff like this has had good results in the past.)

As the moment approached they cut to a camera which I think must have been in the nose of the Centaur upper stage rocket - the first and biggest hitting-the-moon thing - and it showed some quite nice, but not over-exciting, footage of craters getting bigger, then bigger ... then the screen went white, and there was no more. (I conjecture that this was when the camera operator baled out before it hit so he or she could get home safely in their Rocket-Pak™.)

I then thought, great, they will now show us the footage from the other bit of spaceship, or from a big telescope, or something, in which the rocket smacks into the moon and a huge explosion of debris blasts up into the atmosphere (yes I know I know, don't bother me, I'm on a roll here) and it's all dead exciting, because that's what the whole thing was about.

Ermmmm, nothing. No footage, no explosion, no dust plume blowing in the wind (shuttup shuttup), no nothing much really. As I write they still say they're analysing the data but, so far, no wonderful pictures have emerged showing the moment of impact. Well, apart from this one, which was pretty difficult to research. But what actually happened, I wonder? Ho hum ... Onward and, er, downward!